Do You Have to Write an Obituary?

In most situations, you do not have to write an obituary: families can choose whether to publish one and what to share.

Knowing the difference between an obituary, a death notice, and official paperwork can make the decision easier during a difficult time.

Do you have to write an obituary?

Generally, no.

There is no universal requirement that a family write or publish an obituary after someone dies.

Whether to share one is a personal choice, shaped by the family’s wishes, cultural or religious traditions, practical needs, and the person’s privacy preferences.

An obituary is a written account of someone’s life and death, often shared with a newspaper, funeral home, or online memorial platform.

Some families publish a detailed tribute; others share a brief announcement, notify people directly, or keep the information private.

Each approach can be appropriate.

Specific circumstances can differ.

For example, an employer, benefits provider, institution, or organization may ask for documentation to handle a particular matter.

That request does not necessarily mean a public obituary is required.

Ask the organization what document it needs, and check with the relevant authority or a qualified professional if you are unsure about a formal requirement.

What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

The terms are sometimes used interchangeably, but publications may distinguish between them.

A death notice is usually a short announcement that states that someone has died and may provide service details.

An obituary often includes more biographical information, such as the person’s interests, work, community involvement, and relationships.

• Death notice: A concise announcement, often focused on the death and arrangements.
• Obituary: A fuller account that may describe the person’s life and legacy.
• Online memorial: A page where relatives and friends may share memories, photographs, or messages, depending on the platform’s features.

There is no single format used everywhere.

A funeral home or newspaper can explain how it labels its submissions and what information it accepts.

Why do families choose to write an obituary?

An obituary can let people know about a death and share practical details, such as a memorial service or a preferred way to honor the person.

It can also preserve a short account of a life for relatives, friends, and community members who may not have known the person well.

For some families, writing is a meaningful way to reflect on what mattered to the person.

For others, it may feel like an added task when time and energy are limited.

You can ask a trusted relative or friend to help, write only a few sentences, or decide not to publish anything.

What can you share if you decide to publish one?

There is no required checklist for a personal obituary.

Include only details the family is comfortable making public.

A short notice may be enough; a longer tribute can add context for readers who want to understand more about the person’s life.

Common details include:

• The person’s name, and any name they were commonly known by.
• The date and general location of death, if the family chooses to share them.
• A few biographical details, such as places lived, work, education, or community activities.
• Interests, values, or relationships that help describe the person.
• Information about a service or memorial, if details are confirmed and the family wants to invite others.
• A requested charitable donation or other way to honor the person, if the family has selected one.

Consider privacy when sharing names of relatives, personal history, service locations, or other identifying information.

Confirm spellings, dates, and arrangements with the people closest to the details before submitting the notice.

How do you write a short obituary?

Start with the facts you want readers to know, then add a few details that capture the person’s life.

You do not need to cover every stage or accomplishment.

A clear, personal paragraph can be more useful than a long list of biographical facts.

1. Decide the purpose. Is the main goal to announce the death, share service details, remember the person, or do a combination?
2. Gather confirmed details. Ask relatives or consult records for names, dates, and other facts you plan to include.
3. Choose a few meaningful details. Focus on interests, relationships, contributions, or experiences that feel representative.
4. Draft in plain language. Use a tone that feels respectful and true to the person and family.
5. Review before sharing. Check facts, permissions, privacy, and any publication requirements.

If the writing feels difficult, try recording a conversation with someone who knew the person well, then use the notes to create a short draft.

You can also divide the work: one person gathers facts, another writes, and a family member reviews it.

What if you do not want to publish an obituary?

You can choose another way to inform people.

Families may contact relatives and friends individually, share a private message, post a brief announcement, or communicate through a funeral home or community organization.

If a service is private, say so clearly when notifying people.

Some families wait until after a service to share a public tribute.

Others decide later that a memorial page or written remembrance would be helpful.

There is no need to publish a full obituary simply because it is customary in a particular community.

Does an obituary have to be published in a newspaper?

No.

If you want to publish an obituary, you can explore options such as a newspaper, funeral home website, online memorial platform, or a family-managed page.

Availability, submission rules, editing, and audience vary by provider.

Newspapers set their own rates and may price notices based on length, placement, photographs, or other choices.

Contact the publication directly for current pricing and deadlines.

A funeral home may also explain available options, but ask whether any service has a separate fee before submitting.

Can someone else write the obituary?

Yes.

A relative, friend, funeral home staff member, or professional writer may help prepare the text, depending on the family’s preference and the service offered.

The people closest to the deceased should review the final version for accuracy and decide what information may be shared.

If more than one person is contributing, agree on the main facts and tone early.

This can reduce confusion and make it easier to resolve different preferences about what to include.

It is also fine to keep the wording simple and omit details that relatives do not want made public.

Fictional example of a brief obituary

The following is a fictional example.

It does not describe a real person.

Jordan Lee, a fictional teacher and longtime community volunteer, died on [date] at [age].

Jordan enjoyed gardening, sharing meals with friends, and helping students discover a love of reading.

A memorial gathering will take place on [date] at [location].

The family invites those who wish to remember Jordan to [optional request].

Use placeholders until details are confirmed, and remove any line that does not fit your family’s wishes.

The example is only a starting point; an obituary can be shorter, longer, or written in a different style.